I need to issue an apology. My family has been inconveniencing thousands of people for the last few years…. maybe even millions. The actions of some people in my family has caused mayhem. They have brought an upheaval to the way people live their lives. And it’s all because of two miniature humans. My two oldest kids, with a combined weight of 60 lbs and a total height of 5’, have single handedly brought the California Water Crisis to its breaking point.
You see, my kids love the toilet. To them it’s so much more than a vessel for expelling waste from our home. To them it’s a friend. It makes fun noises when they pull the handle. The swirls of water are majestically mesmerizing. The vortex being a favorite thing to watch in the house once they’ve attained their Netflix time ceiling. The toilet is magical. Something goes in, rides the gyre and disappears! Never to be seen again. The toilet is a source of stimulation on all levels. Not the least of which being the physical, as my youngest daughter has grown fond of exploring the cool refreshing waters with her hands whenever we turn our backs.
So our toilet is flushed more than the average toilet. Correction, it’s flushed more than the average LAX toilet during the Christmas season rush. These entertainment flushes of course are on top of all of the normal number of flushes a family of five would typically use in a day. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry to all of the Californians who couldn’t wash their cars. I apologize to the millions of blades of grass that had to perish when lawn restrictions went into place. I’m sorry to all of the splash parks and decorative water features that had to partially shutter in the wake of these flushes. But there is a silver lining. We are doing something about this issue. We are working to save the world that we were once so badly hurting.
Like the superheroes in every summer blockbuster, we have decided that we can make the difference. We obviously know that my two kids aren’t really depleting the state’s reservoirs, but the constant usage is certainly exacerbating an already bad situation. We’ve decided that not only are we tired of wasting so much water when our eyes are off our kids, but we are tired of paying exorbitant water bills every month because of it!
We realized that our old toilet was the enemy. It wasted way too much water with each flush. To combat this evil, we have loaded our house with Stealth Toilets, and not just because the name seems really cool. The Stealth Toilet, made by Niagara Conservation, is a toilet that uses less than a gallon of water per flush. Normal toilets use between 3 and 5. That makes a huge difference in our house already. Niagara Conservation is a company that makes high-efficiency and ultra-high-efficiency conservation products and they developed the Stealth Toilet to help combat wasted water.
This water that our heroic family now saves can be preserved for communities, nature and for times when we might need it again during future droughts. These toilets are super quiet, will save a ton of water and best yet, they are SUPER INEXPENSIVE. They sell for $149, but California residents can get a rebate of $100. I think with all of the flushing that happens around here, we’d be losing money by NOT buying this immediately.
Now it’s your turn. Our family did its part in combating the drought we are in. We are joining the Niagara Conservation in their #WhatTheFlush campaign to help people realize the difference they can make in their own homes, one flush at a time. My superhero kids have learned that flushing isn’t quite the show they want it to be.
That leaves just one more battle for our house to engage in. We will do whatever it takes to secure a toilet seat with a lock, because our youngest just loooooooooves her personal unsanitary splash park.
You can purchase a Stealth Toilet for your own home here: bit.ly/WhatTheFlush
*Life of Dad has partnered with Niagara Conservation for this post, but the opinions are our own.