If you asked any kid why he loved his dad or mom you’re going to get some pretty standard answers.
- “He’s Nice.”
- “She’s so beautiful.”
- “They buy me things.”
- “He makes me laugh.”
They’re right, of course. We are pretty awesome. But I don’t really think these things truly demonstrate how much we love our kids. I think it’s much, much deeper. It’s not so much the good times that define how we feel about them, but our levels of commitment are better viewed by the bad times. The “I am at rock bottom…. surely things can never be worse than this” moments that we endure with a smile (or more realistically a grimace disguised as a smile.)
So while I’ll get the usual loving Valentine cards and awesome gifts from my kids, I sort of wish they would acknowledge the flip side of of the coin. For instance:
“Sick? Super tired? Hangover??…….. that’s great, but it’s 6am and I want pancakes.” These days I get more done by sunrise than my 25 year old self did in a week or so. To the kids, it’s just a standard Tuesday. One day they will appreciate how great staying in bed can be, but so far they have no clue what we have given up on this front. Or rather, what I’ve given up.
This has happened numerous times! They are sick and I know it’s coming out. In that instant I need to determine what will be easier to clean. Is it my hands, or is it the carpet, or bed, or whatever else they are aiming at? I’ve caught it in my hands, in my lap, in my shirt like I’m collecting berries. There aren’t many people out there I would do this for.
These days I actually appreciate that I have a built in excuse to stay home and watch great horse tv shows like heartland. However, times do come where just being able to bolt out the door on a moment’s notice would be awesome. Alas, that’s still a good 5 years away for me. Even on the occasion that we do get out, we are always running the mental taxi meter in our heads. As every minute ticks by, it adds money to the total cost of our night. Babysitters are STUPID EXPENSIVE. Did all teenagers receive their doctorates in babysitting? We’re better off just heading in early.
Is there a better way to show someone what you are willing to do for them?? Imagine someone out of the blue suggests this scenario to you:
“Hey, I’m going to move in with you, live for free and eat everything you buy. Then when I poop, I’ll need you there to clean my bottom before I go out to play some more. We’ll do this for about 7 years until I’m able to sufficiently clean myself, cool?? All other parts of this arrangement stay the same.”
I’ll imagine that not even your best friend on Earth can make this arrangement sound good in any way. Yet we do it for our kids. We do it and don’t think anything of it. The fact that this becomes routine speaks volumes to the depths of love that we have for our kids. Sure they aren’t going to recognize these things because the more romantic versions of love are at the forefront of Valentine’s Day, but one day they’ll look back and understand. For now though, I’ll cherish the cards they do make and continue loving my little Valentine kiddos as I mop up their messes and smile my way through whatever gnarliness they can throw in my direction.