As we sat there tired, stressed, and frustrated with what we just realized was our weekly schedule, my wife finally blurted out what I had been mulling over myself:

 

“Why are we making ourselves so busy? Are we not allowed to relax?”

 

We had been discussing the upcoming season of our lives and the schedule that came along with that.  Our wedding was a couple weeks ago, and I was back at work as an entry level commodities trading analyst, scouring the European grid of natural gas pipelines at top speed for +12 hours a day, only to rush out of work to some sort of event, dinner, bible study, or volunteer opportunity.

 

We had something every day of the week!

 

By the time Thursday or Friday hit, I was simply a zombie.  I was irritable and unfocused outside of work. I would dread human interaction on those evenings because I had a ton of trouble simply starting and keeping a coherent, much less enjoyable conversation with the people we would see at the various things we had scheduled.

 

We were beginning to question the age-old tradition of becoming overly busy, and realizing that our desire to live a life of impact did not necessitate that we pull ourselves in so many different ways.

 

Have you had to cut things out of your life before? Are you skilled in the area of setting limitations (and sticking to them)?

 

Leo Babauta changed his life through the Power of Less, which, if you read the post from two days ago, you know has given him the ability to do less of the nonessential, thereby achieving more and increasing his actual effectiveness, while eliminating the things that don’t matter all that much anyway.

 

I shared the six principles of the power of less, but in case you missed it, the first principle is to set limitations.

 

Many of you out there just whispered under your breath, “Boy I need to learn how to do that,” just as I did when I read it for the first time.

 

Because here’s the God-honest truth: Most husbands and dads out there (including me) are stressed out because of our inability to set (oftentimes difficult) limitations and stick to them.

 

The choices we have made, little by little, to ‘get more involved’ or ‘give opportunities’ to our children, have slowly led to a build-up and snowball of sacrificing things that actually matter. I’m talking about quality time with your family all in the same location at the same time. I’m talking about quality time with your wife.  I’m talking about time for you to rest and recover from a difficult and stressful day at work.

 

Most of the time the most difficult piece here  is the fact that what you’re being drawn to commit to isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Most of the time, it’s a great opportunity.  But too many great opportunities can be a really bad thing, and it’s about time we realize that.

 

What does this mean for you?

 

If you’re like me, you’re a very practical human being. I always want to know the answer to the question: Ok that’s all great and stuff, I knew that. So what does that mean for my life?

 

Do you know what to set limits on? What to cut back on?

 

In an excerpt from his book, Mr. Babauta provides the preliminary questions to ask yourself in discovering what you can ultimately eliminate (or do less of) in your life:

 

  • Which areas of my life are overwhelming?

 

  • What would I like to simplify?

 

  • In addition to the tasks I need to accomplish in different areas, do I want to limit the number of possessions I have, what information I receive, or what responsibilities I have?

 

My wife and I began asking ourselves the same type of questions back when we were first married, and the need to continually reassess the answers to them have not gone away. While we now have a small child and seemingly more responsibilities, it seems to be that our ability to identify where to set limitations is increasing, ever so slowly but surely.

 

The challenge today to you fellow dads out there seeking to make a change in your life to your mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical health:

 

Ask yourself those three questions and see what you come up with.  Tomorrow we will address how we actually go about setting the limitations (with the help of Mr. Babauta, of course).

 

Thanks for tuning in.

 

Until next time,

 

Simple Health Dad