It was almost 11am and I found myself in a tough spot.
My wife and I enjoy exercising together on Saturdays. It’s a routine during this season of life (for about a month and a half now) that we have found to spend together that involves not talking about our business, but also one where we can workout without having a lot of pressure to merely get in and get out due to other pressing priorities on our schedules.
However, on this late morning… Bo, our son, had fallen asleep and was napping. On me.
This is great, typically. We encourage naps as I’m sure any parent does with a 10-month old. We’ve been trying to get him on a two nap schedule for awhile now, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.
Furthermore… I’ve lately been acutely aware of the ‘time-is-ticking’ phenomenon. For my All-American Dads out there, we all know that our babies don’t take naps on our chest for their whole lives. As Bo gets older and older, I have been cherishing every single moment I can of these kinds of things. Children age so fast, and although it literally feels like yesterday that he was born, he’s already almost walking. When your son is curled up and nuzzles in to your chest, finding rest, peace, and safety just being enveloped by you, I’m not sure that there’s a more manly feeling: it surely is fatherhood at its finest. Protection, trust, provision. Just look at the picture I had my wife take the other day when he fell asleep on me watching Sunday Night Football. Pure joy for any father.
But I digress. On this day, I knew that my wife and I had agreed to meet up at 11am at our ‘gym’ (she is a women’s strength coach at a local high school). I was to bring little Bo with me, obviously.
So what did I do? I knew the age-old mantra, “Never wake a sleeping baby,” just as you’re probably thinking to yourself right now. I sat there and thought about texting my wife and letting her know that she should come home, because Bo was sleeping and I just wasn’t sure when he would wake up. I also considered how difficult it has been lately to get a good workout in, especially with my wife. I took to heart the chances I had at getting Bo into his car-seat and getting him to fall asleep again. I weighed the pros and cons, knowing that I would be risking a very upset little boy, which ultimately would ruin any chance of a good workout, regardless if I got him there.
So what did I do?
3 Reasons I Woke A Sleeping Baby… And Why You Should Too
- I woke him up because I strongly believe that babies (and humans) have a very strong ability to adapt to any situation. In the same way Boaz has become our ‘pocket’ pal, traveling with us to restaurants, other people’s homes, my wife’s workplace, to the gym with us when we workout, I choose to expose him to a lot of different situations, oftentimes simply to get him outside of his comfort zone. I’m not an expert, and this could have backfired bigtime, but there is a time and place for structure and a repetitive schedule, but I made the call that this wasn’t the time for that.
- If I sacrifice my health for his nap now, where will it stop, and what will it grow into? There is a slippery slope in sacrificing your health for others in a way you could technically justify, but it unnecessary. I know that at this point, having one small baby, I am only going to get more busy. I am only going to have more (and probably better) reasons to not exercise, or in the bigger picture of things, not take care of my health. When you think about the potential ramifications, I knew that the worst thing that could possibly emerge from this situation was to monumentally disrupt my son’s sleeping schedule, which would carry over into tonight where he would not sleep as much, thus waking us up at midnight or 2AM or some other weird time. My confidence (arrogance?) that he would not do that combined with my stubbornness to value and prioritize my health led me to wake him up. It may seem selfish, but a healthy dad is a better dad.
- Time with my wife is more important than Boaz getting a nap. This one especially seems counter to popular belief, as in this day and age there is so much talk and discussion surrounding the ‘special’ relationship between parent and child, vs. husband and wife. The third reason I had to wake my son up (to quickly get him buckled into his seat and get him to fall asleep again) was simply that I value this time with my wife. My wife and I do not get to engage in recreational activity together often, much less now that we have a little one. We both own and operate businesses; this means when we do see one another, we typically are discussing priorities, systems, issues, and victories with regards to our respective businesses. We don’t get a lot of time to connect, which is extremely important to keeping a marriage relationship healthy. A healthy relationship is paramount for me. And I believe that this time is a time we get to connect on a deeper level than is typical for 90% of the rest of our lives.
In the end, all went to perfection, most likely in spite of my decision to wake him up. He promptly fell asleep again on the way to the gym, and napped peacefully while we cranked our music and did heavy squats, like all good parents would do in that situation.
Whether it was my worldview on child development in adaptation, my desire to keep health as a priority, or the drive to keep my relationship with my wife strong, I know that if given the same opportunity again, I would do the same thing. The next time your baby is sleeping: know your philosophy, know your priorities, and make the decision based upon what’s best for you.
Whether I will have the same outcome next time is a different story, but it’s also one I’m willing to discover. I’ll let you know how the next one goes.
Until next time,
Simple Health Dad